Salt Lake City Delusion

Utah fans have lost their minds. A decent regular season--plenty of close games--was followed by a solid bowl victory. That is it. Nothing more. Anyone who actually thinks Utah would beat Florida, Oklahoma, USC, or that Utah would run the table in a "real" conference is sadly losing their mind. Utah's season is exactly why a playoff is needed--they earned the right to lose on the field (they certainly would)--with Texas and USC both having some legitimate complaints. Utah's undefeated season was possible because they play in a weak conference, and because they step up in bowl games, but to really try and claim they are the "best" team in College Football is just stupid. TCU gave the Utes the game; Michigan nearly beat them and Michigan was as good as my high school team that won 1 game in 3 years; BYU was driving, down 27-24, even though Max Hall had already gifted 3 interceptions and a fumble at that point...BYU was not that good this year; New Mexico nearly beat them, and Weber State hung tough. That is not a National Championship caliber season--Alabama was overrated, something most people forgot when they played Florida tough, and beating them was impressive, but not more impressive than the way USC thumped Penn State, or the way Florida capped off it's season by holding the best offense in college football history to 14 points. 

Realistically, Utah is probably about the 10th to 15th best team in the country, and if they lined up the top 10 teams in the country and let Utah join in, Utah would be lucky to win more than 2 games; Utah beat 4 ranked teams, while Florida beat 7--all by double digits, while Utah barely won a couple of their games. The injustice is that there was no playoff, not that Utah wasn't crowned National Champs, and if Utah fans direct their anger in the direction of a playoff, they'll possibly make a difference, but whining about how they are the National Champions will legitimately fall on deaf ears. So for all of you delusional Ute fans, check out reality, and be happy that controversy around your team could be the breaking point in creating a playoff.

In Need of Lobotomy

After watching Utah beat Alabama; BYU choke down the stretch against Wake Forest; and seeing the Colts hand the Chargers another game, I have decided I want to stop liking sports. I really mean that; I want to stop caring, stop watching, stop paying attention, and put things like scrabble and poker on the top of my fun list. Big problem though--I don't have a chance in hell of giving up sports; I can try all I want, but it isn't possible. What I need is a lobotomy; I need to have part of my brain removed so that I don't remember anything about sports. I'd seriously go under the knife if there was an insurance company that would cover a lobotomy for a depressed sports fan (unfortunately, my insurance doesn't cover this procedure). 

I took Sammy to the BYU/WF game, expecting the Cougs to make it 54 in a row. For most of the game, things were going as planned, and then BYU did what BYU always does--they choked. If a game is close, count on BYU to start playing worse than me in a church ball game; its guaranteed that they will do this and lose because of it. 

As for Peyton Manning, he should have a career ending injury so I can stop hoping for a Peyton - Eli Super Bowl; it won't happen, and I still don't know how Peyton won a Super Bowl when he has the luck of Job in the playoffs. 

Anyway, I hate sports and beating my head against the wall hasn't erased my memory of them, so if any of you know a good sports lobotomist, please let me know.

Christmas Break

I don't do many "personal" posts--you know, talk about my feelings, life, family--but school is out, and my brain is taking a break from things of a political nature (not really, but somewhat). Anyway, my family and I went to a cabin for a few days in Heber; the cabin was really nice--we split the cost with Stacy's family--and we had a really good time. The cabin was huge--8 bedrooms, 6 bathrooms, hot tub, pool table, ping pong table, foose ball, pin ball, big screen with satellite--and with the massive snow storm, snowmobling was pretty cool. Anyway, it was a nice way to relax after finals, and it was good way to spend some of the Christmas break--minus the fact that BYU got worked and I had to watch it with my father-in-law. 

Political Hybernation

After the election, the political scene has gotten quite boring. Watching Obama assemble a Cabinet is far less exciting than listening to him debate McCain & Palin about whether he is a terrorist. Right now is like the off-season for sports--the space after the NBA Finals ends, football hasn't started, baseball is meaningless--that's where things are at right now. The financial crisis is the issue that is talked about everyday, but its not like anything has really changed. The world was going to collapse without 700 billion from the taxpayers right away, and less than half of it has been spent; does that mean that 1/3 of the world has collapsed? Besides, the government has spent over a trillion dollars in other ways, bailing out companies that were on the verge of collapse, so I'm not sure why the even bothered asking Congress for the 700 billion. I'm close to the edge, tuition is up; I wonder if I played my cards right, could I get some of the bailout money? I'm not looking for a lot--maybe 50 million. That's not much when most of the people trying to get into the piggy bank are asking for billions; I'd be quite cheap, a discount. If anyone wants to form a company with a patriotic name, and a supposedly invaluable purpose so that we can get some bailout money, let me know.

Armageddon Approaches

We're nearly there. 40 hours from the BYU-Utah game that has more at stake than any of the other holy wars that have preceded it. BCS. MWC Champion. Top 10 Ranking. State bragging rights. The rights to all of the future superstar state athletes. The supremacy of the color Blue or Red. My sanity. The sanctity of marriage. The end of global warming. The reawakening of the financial system....wait, I've wandered off the reservation just a bit. There isn't quite as much as I would like on the line. There is, however, more on the table than there has ever been in any previous match up. The sad aspect of this game with enormous implications is that Utah is favored. The odds makers currently have Utah favored by 7. The supposedly wise men at ESPN are predicting a Utah victory. Lots of lame Utah fans are guaranteeing a win (not that they matter now, or ever). I'm worried for various reasons. This game, like every year, goes a long way towards making or breaking BYU's season. Add to it the possible BCS birth and a conference championship for the Utes if they win, and a BYU loss is potentially suicidal.  This isn't like 2005 when Utah had all of the same rewards awaiting them if they beat BYU; BYU was bad, Utah was ridiculous, and minus the death of Alex Smith, nothing was going to stop Utah. This year is different. Take away one horrific half of football at TCU, and BYU is ranked higher and probably favored to beat Utah. Take away one bad half of football at TCU, and BYU is a dark horse to sneak into the National Championship game. Erase 30 minutes of hell and BYU fans are confident of a victory on Saturday. You have fans that drink blue kool-aid, wear blue goggles, smoke blue doobies, and then you have fans like me--we always lean a litte towards the side of pessimism. We always see the worst case scenario as a possibility. So when we lean that way, we can't forget 30 minutes of vomiting on a field in Texas. We can't forget 30 minutes of what-the-hell-is-Max-Hall-a-girl. It puts me in a position of handling my grief after BYU loses, and putting me in a state of dangerously high euphoria if they win, but it creates a dark mood preceding the game. I ultimately think BYU will lose, and I don't know if that's my distorted pessimism, or accurate football perception. I would rather be wrong and have BYU win, than right and have my prediction vindicated. Either way, I'm attempting the most accurate, evenly weighted prediction I can proffer. Utah wins 38-28. The good that comes from this tragedy is the large pot of cash the BCS bowl provides to all MWC teams, and the sight of Utah being demolished by a superior team. The hurt will fade when BYU beats a bad PAC-10 team and Utah loses badly, and in spite of the loss, they give BYU a fat wad of cash. 

Good vs. Evil

Saturday. Good vs. Evil; Jesus vs. Satan; Obama vs. Bush; Mormons vs. Catholics; Me vs. My Pathetic Brothers on the ping pong table. Saturday brings THE showdown of the year for both teams. The game on Saturday will be the biggest, most important game in the history of the BYU-Utah rivalry. This game will determine once and for all if the Church is true. There is no way God will let his chosen University lose to the evil ones up north; meaning a Cougar loss proves the Catholic Church is true. I'm serious. Think about it. The Utes have obviously made a pact with the devil to have an undefeated season (it's the only possible explanation) and it's up to the Strippling Warriors to end this less than savory deal. More to come later, but be prepared for the 2nd War in Heaven...(Lucifer will lose again)

Sports Writer

I don't want to brag...but I've made it to the bigs! I'm gonna be a sportwriter for the Spanish Fork News! What, you're not impressed? With the Spanish Fork News? It's sort of like being the mayor of Wasilla--it may get no respect, but it can be a stepping stone...to things like the presidency...or the Daily Herald. Actually, for someone who has never written anything for the reading public outside of the blogosphere, this is a step in the right direction. I can't host Pardon The Interruption and have my own sports column for some big newspaper without working up the to tum poll. For all of my big fans--mom, wife, 3 year old son, 92 year old grandma--I'll make sure to post links so you can see my scintillating tales about Spanish Fork basketball and...brace yourself...high school wrestling!! Yeah, that's right, wrestling. I may not have let on before, but I'm obsessed with WWF. I had daydreams of marrying Hulk Hulgan, and spending the rest of my life shooting roids' and watching my man bash people with chairs. Alas, I had to forgo that dream for Stacy, but this is an awesome consolation prize. Anyway, stay tuned for mind bending stories about the unsung heros of the high school wrestling community--one legged victors, hermaphrodite champions....you get the point.