July Sucks

July is the worst month of the year. Why do I say that? There is no basketball, football, or meaningful baseball. After the NBA Finals and the majority of Wimbledon in June, July comes along with nothing. To top off a pointless July, even golf blows because Tiger is out for the year, making the British Open about as exciting as an Algebra class. Not only does the sports schedule come up empty, the temperatures get to the point of ridiculous. Since skipping July isn't an option, we need the NBA to start a month later so they can end their season towards the end of July and MLB can shorten its season so the playoffs start in the first part of August, ending just around the time football season starts. There, I've solved the scheduling dilemma that leaves fans stuck watching lame inspirational stories on ESPN for a month and a half. Fortunately, since this change won't happen anytime soon, this summer provides earlier relief with the Olympics starting in August, but waiting every 4 years for the pain to stop a month early isn't all that consoling. Instead of locking up terrorist suspects in Guantanamo, we should start the Roman Coliseum sports again, with terrorist gladiators trying to win their freedom. That could be a year around sport. If we ever catch Osama, we could give him a shovel and have him fight Kimbo Slice, and to make sure it doesn't go to waste, we could save this event for July.